Asset or vice?

It is interesting when you find yourself compelled to ruminate over your own strengths and weaknesses. Having worked under some average project managers in the past - I had the rather disconcerting experience of asking myself today, 'am I that guy?'. Hence the following 'internal conversation and self diagnosis (if you think I am letting a 'head type professional' near this 'subject' - think again).

I think I have good attention to detail - outcome - fixation over every little detail (my responsibility or otherwise).

My perception and ability to visualise the potential impacts of decisions isn't bad - hence immediately questioning any proposal put forward. Then fixating on all possible ramafications.

I like to organise and be organised - outcome - planning what needs to be done and realising I was running out of time to actually do what has just been organised. Time to re-jig the original plan....

I like to assume responsibility (invited or not!) - outcome - an unconcious martyr mentality. When undertaking a critical self assessment - martyr and primma donna become disconcertingly blurred.

Confidence has never fooled me. Many people perceived me to be 'out there', confident, even arrogant [ouch, but fair - Ed]. If you know me well enough to be reading this, you know that my biggest fear is that others will detect what I already know about me (the doubts, the fears, the entirely normal stuff) - but I manage to hide those things adequately, more often than not.

The proceeding ramble is the result of a rather full on couple of days at work. Don't think for a moment that I am not enjoying it - it is a fantastic opportunity, the people are great and I am sure all will work out well.

But I figure if you lot are going to venture this little spec of the world wide inter web - then occassionally I should feed up some un(self)edited stream of conciousness bollocks, read it the next day, and wonder what the hell I was thinking. Because chances are, tomorrow will bring a completely different state of mind.

Whether I tell you about it or not - who knows?