More blah than blog #2

I don’t know what it is - but I have been feeling a bit weird about New Zealand lately. I hope to God it is not some sort of ‘I’m overseas in the big league looking back at my little Island home’ superiority complex - I’m sure it’s not. But I have just been thinking about where I am at, what I am doing and what matters to me.

I have relaxed the ‘money above all things’ philosophy - but the truth is - I like nice things, nice things cost money. There is no way I could match the opportunity that I have here if I was back home. I was presented with a massive opportunity when I started and it came with good coin. My perm contract comes with even more opportunity and a 21% pay rise. That makes the prospect of returning home and looking for work a little bit daunting – I just don’t think I could match what I have here. I don’t think I will be home for good until I am in a position to start up my consultancy - plans for that, whilst embryonic, are certainly more solid than many of my previous ‘grand ideas’!

Then there’s the access to ‘life experiences’ that come with being in Europe. I am hugely frustrated that I have experienced precious little of it to date - but that will change (promise Mum!) - in fact I am organising a five day tour through Turkey to do with Boy for Anzac Day next year at the moment. When Di Rielly was over here - she said that it was like living on a Monopoly Board - which is as good a description as I have heard. It is no longer consistently surreal, but having the Queen living down the street still beats walking down Queen Street!

Then there’s the independence and freedom of being anonymous. I am a creature of habit, I don’t need company often and I am perfectly happy to go about my business and let others do likewise. In this respect - London was made for me. There is nothing I like more than heading down to Camden on a Sunday afternoon, popping into Mr Topper’s for the 6 quid ‘number none’ shearing and then slipping into NW1 (sports bar) to watch a Newcastle game. There are always a few lads at the bar ready to proffer their various opinions - but then I am just left to watch my footy. Bliss (when you support Newcastle, you learn to just enjoy the game and not let yourself get upset about the result - well for no more than a few days at least).

There is no end of good looking girls over here, and no shortage of people trying to set me up with them. But to be honest - I just don’t have time at the moment (I can hear the collective groans all the way from here family!) - but that is the truth for now. I am not into the ‘occasional dating’ thing and I have plenty of people that I struggle to catch up with in my spare time already. The prospect of doing the ‘awkward first meeting’; worried about real meetings the next day does not appeal. That said, there is one ‘chick’ I have met and gotten to know over here who meets all the key criteria, so watch this space.

Then I read the news from back home and see things like Wayne Mapp being given the position of ‘PC eradication spokesmanship’. Dear God – it all seems so facile from a distance (I’m sure it seems equally facile when you are back home – but you know what I mean). MJD said to me recently that ‘it sounds like they are making it hard for you to leave London’. They are. But checking out the news from back home makes it equally hard to come back.

I have always liked the English side of my heritage, the security that comes with connecting with something so established. Now that I am immersed in that history and tradition – it highlights the ‘cultural cringe’ undercurrent that permeates NZ. The fact that Waitangi Day feels like taking a sickie from work is case in point. You get the day off – but don’t really feel inclined to celebrate. We spend God knows how much money on fireworks to celebrate a failed plot in another country (Guy Fawkes Day) – yet hold our collective breaths to see the best headline protest on our ‘National Day’. Average.

Mum – before you read this and worry about me disappearing for good – relax. I’m sure the brain dump above is ‘part of a phase’ [Mate, I had hoped you were over explaining things away as ‘phases’ – Ed], and I still can’t imagine bringing my kids up anywhere but in NZ. NZ is still home and always will be – besides – I miss you buggers too much to stay here for good.

But just for now, I am a ‘dual citizen’, and happily in touch with 'the second me'.