It's the ruddy audacity that grates

Last night I received a phone call, not unusual in itself, but the voice on the other end of the phone was the same voice that answered my phone on Friday morning after it had been stolen - and they asked for the bastard that stole it by name!!! The bloody cheek!

The thing that is most annoying is that normally - I would call that number back and threaten death by tickling, or even something more masculine and sinister - but this guy knows where I live. And the one night he comes knocking - is the one night that Buzz will be home and me not. So a measured response is required. 'Measured' is not something I do well, so the scenario is outlined below - suggestions welcomed:

1. Prick demands 100 pounds to get me home (criminal)
2. Comes into my house (unwise on my part)
3. Steals my phone (wanker)
4. He is stupid enough to give out the number and one of his clan calls me once I have new SIM and the same number. (Not too clever).
5. I now have their number. (Could be handy).

So do I cancel the cheque and call them demanding the phone back - under fear of retribution? Cut my losses and just get on? Use my endless contacts to locate the 'mystery caller' and gently burn their house down?