There is no such thing as a god damn 'baby name'.

Reading the Metro this morning tipped off something that has long been an irritant - people selecting stupidily 'cute' and 'hip' baby names for their unfortunate offspring, forgetting that the poor little bugger will end up on the wrong end of a boarding school toweling just minutes after the first role call.

This mornings couple had called their son 'cool', now that may be wicked, grouse and funky - a little bit edgy and now - you know, just a bit zanny and out there!

No you pricks - it's a lifetime of feeling a right tit everytime he's introduced. A sure fire way to get beaten up daily. And the reason this 'about to be ostracised as soon as he reaches speaking age criminal in waiting' is going to resent your stupid arses!

I had always thought that a name was a long term requirement - one that sticks with you for the duration of your tenure here on Earth, not a pissy little label for a giggling ball for the few months that it seems like a good idea? Just as well little Staunch won't have the same problems when I manage to find my incubator bride!