Listen very carefully - I shall say this only once...

Paris is impressive. There - said it, done. That is me being objective and fair minded.

The only problem is that the stubborn bastards continue to want to speak that mixedfangdangle noise of theirs that they call a language. I recognised the letters on the maps etc as well; but the spelling was appalling(don't get me started on the over punctuation...).

Ma and I arrived on Saturday afternoon and I swear to God I thought she had taken me to the rough end of Harlem. Dear Lord, we got of the Metro (Tube) and legged it. We got to the Hotel - the rather Grandly named 'Hotel Garden Opera' - I quickly labelled it 'Rickety Sticks'. Oh well, it was two beds and a bathroom - it worked.

From there we went for a walk down to The Sene and did a river cruise, went out for dinner, had a few wines at the dodgy local. Nothing like a grab of the proverbial derriere from an eighty year old local (I swear I could have had her if I wasn't with Mum...) and then a relatively early night.

Day two was a lot busier - up and atom (at 10am no less) and down to the 'l'Grand Open Tour' (open top bus number); the buggers will spell it well enough for you to understand if there is a dime or two in it for them... The sites were many and all mentionable - but I shall not bore you with them now; I shall however post a few pics of the highlights.

Later it was hammering down with rain - so we opted for a dinner close to home in order to keep things simple. And I have to say (and Ma will back me up fully) another HUGELY average 'French' menu. 'Chicken and Chips' for God's sake - and we went looking for a nice local menu! Granted, we had avoided the five star hotel restaurants - but the average French (inner city) menu was 'bollocks', or 'chicken and chips', as I mentioned.

Day three and down to the Latin Quarter which was one of the most stunning areas of Paris. A beer for lunch (NZD-30.00 for the 2) and it was time to be off. And off on the Eurostar which rates an honourable mention - 280kmph in a straight line and in good comfort.

Too much to mention now - but it was a great weekend that generated a couple of stories. Home safe and sound for a three day week before I am off on the cruise! Doing it tough at the moment.