The glorious OE? Nup - just a temporary relocation.

General update time.

After the understandably overwhelming, nerve racking, disjointed and at times painfully insecure first month with Mark and Kathryn (without whom I could have been home within that month) - things, and I, have settled down. Quite literally.

I have been in the flat with Buzz for three months now and all is going swimmingly. Sharing my space, let alone, sharing various aspects of my life with a then stranger (stangers en masse was never an option), is a very daunting thing for me. I like people, but I like to like people in a controlled environment. More accurately, an environment that I control.

But the flat is going well and that little personality flaw [It's major - Ed] is not an issue here. It has been a major factor in me settling into London that I have a place, a nice place, to retreat to each night. I always said that I was not coming here to doss (sic?) on peoples floors and meet strangers to explore brave new worlds with. That doesn't, and to this point of my life hasn't, ever held any appeal. I came here to live life in London.

My idea of the London experiece, albeit it a rather staid one, is to do what I do, and like doing, but to do it here - and take advantage of what being here brings with it. Being able to go to landmarks, see St James' Park, West End shows and see Europe etc. To be honest - I haven't taken advantage of those things anywhere near as much as I would have liked to.

Since getting a job and moving into a position where I have the disposable income to do those things - I literally have not had the time or the headspace to do them. That will change I am sure. If nothing else, it leads me to think that I could be here for quite some time in order to knock off the list of 'must do's' before I head home for good. Despite the advantage of dual citizenship, NZ is still home and always will be. The prospect of my chillun growing up in isolation from their cousins is something I can't contemplate - let alone me leaving away from Mum and the rest of the family.

Mum's heart attack was the first and only time I have felt truly, hopelessly and desperately homesick. It wasn't a yearning for 'things of home' - but a indescribable yearning to be there. Sure there's things I miss, naturally, but there is an abundance of experiences to fill those voids. Over riding all of these emotions is the underlying appreciation that I am in a position choose to be here or to return home whenever suits me.

I don't actually know what brought this post on. It has been a 'trying' few weeks, a few weeks in which I have reverted back to type - needing to caveman, clear 50 emails on a Saturday before cracking a beer, knock over 100 and that Chinese takeaway is all mine guilt free!

To summarise a potentially incomprehensible stream of conciousness download - I suppose the message is that I miss home, I miss everyone from home - but equally - I am doing what I came here to do. That is, to live in London - no more, no less. Not the drama filled OE, or kodak moment packed adventure that many embark on - but a journey that is panning out as I had hoped. Learning plenty about myself, seeing surreal things in 'others', and living - in London.