Failed flirting

Before I get started on this whole new me malarky I just want to relay one recent episode. Yesterday provided a compelling explanation as to why I typically do not flirt - well not in the traditional sense of flirting. It started a few weeks ago...

There is a girl at work who is hot - very hot. I sit between her and the door, so she has to parade her way past me many times a day - the odd coy smile - a little nod, after a week or so there were little 'hello's'.

All well and good - even the boss commented on the coquetting nature of one such exchange. Bouyed by this a decided to talk to her, and that is where things started to go awry. It was a Friday - 'what are your plans for the weekend?' she enquired. 'Not much really - probably fairly quiet, you?' This exchange lasted circa 20 seconds and ended in coy smiles. Nice.

I bumped into her a few more times - one notable encounter on a Tuesday morning. 'What did you get up to on the weekend?' she enquired. 'Not much really - it was fairly quiet, you?' Are you seeing a pattern emerging?

When Mark and K were giving me greif about her last week I actually joked that if I bumped into her on a Wednesday I would be buggered - it would be too late for the 'how was?' and a bit premature for the 'what are you?' lines. As (my) luck would have it - that exact chance meeting occured yesterday (Wednesday). One on one in the lift there was no avoiding it, 'hey - how you going?' I offered. 'Not bad, yay, it's almost Saturday!' came the reply. 'Yeah good huh!' I ventured. I had nothing - no game at all.

Now I can usually hold my own in a conversation no probs at all - but 'small talk' is not a strength. Ask me to pick a chick up and she might temporarily leave the ground, but the odds of her ending up at my place are slim to none.

UPDATE: A couple of people have politely informed me that this post makes me sound a bit hopeless - which in fairness I suppose it does. In my defence, in terms of this particular scenario, the blank canvas that I was attempting to paint with my charm, is completely impervious to colour! That is as benevolently as I can put it.