I have just realised

I don't trust people whose heads don't move when they walk.

Good/Bad

I am now in my new pad = good!!

But have no internet access = bad!!

Need to do a big catch up - but am thinking that will have to be tomorrow night (softball at Regents Park tonight). But in short, all good! Have bought a few toys - a new digy LCD TV, 'the Challenger' iron (plug it in and point it at your shirt and watch the creases run), new duvet - you get the idea....

Will sort out an ISP today hopefully - if it is going to take a while - I'll have to beg Mark for his 3G card after some other bugger needed mine!

Mum has booked the cruise and is already having chips at me about finding some lovely young thing on board!

The boat is huge. Casino 5 bars etc & we can casual dine ( buffet ) anytime between 6 & 10pm . Can sit on our own or join any lovely 30 yr old girls? With 3000 on board there must be a few your age...

I can safely say that I had never thought of my mother playing the role of 'wing man'!

I've got World Cup Tickets!!!!!

Not the best seats in the house mind....

With Ministers like these.....

After admitting that he had not asked for a dime for Maori in the budget because he couldn't be bothered, Parekura declares his love for his people. Despite them being, well you know -- them...

Hon Georgina te Heuheu: Did the Minister advocate for the cutting of funding for local level solutions for Mâori in this year’s Budget, or was this programme cut because, as he himself has described in this House, advocating for Mâori is “tiresome”, and he could not be bothered arguing for it?

Hon PAREKURA HOROMIA: Sometimes we do feel like that when working with our constituency. But they are great people. I also added that we loved them, irrespective of how they made us feel.

I give him 2 months.

To sum up work at the moment....

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Good fun, suits the both of me!

2 days to go...

Before liberation! Working from 'the flat' today having just handed over 100 quid to replace the smoke alarm I disabled with a hammer. Not wise when the bugger is mains powered - that said - the mains power

In just 2 days I move to 'home'! It's funny that once you get the next stage sorted, you reflect on the current status in an entirely different light. I thought all was chipper - now I realise I have pretty much been existing - not really living.

Mum and Chaff due here soon, I have the resources to put them up and 'host' them. Time to dish out some London town hospitality.

Giddy up!

A short post, abbreviated

1. Talked to Mum yesterday morning - sounds like we have confirmed a 10 port cruise for when she is over. Can't wait!

2. Played softball for Hudson tonight and we got thrashed, completely and utterly. The blow soomewhat softened by having a girl who had modelled for FHM in the side. Let me get that for you love.... She was actually delightful and actually put paid to a few blokish stereotypes during the course of the evening. Oh, and, I would ;-)

3. Confirmed move to the flat for Saturday and realised that outside of cloth's and shoes - I can still fit my life into a bag. Time to buy 'things' - giddy up you frustrated consumer!

4. Still very busy - but all well.

5. Am a bad brother - haven't called home for weeks.

Yawn

Sitting here on a Sunday arvo having a quick peruse of some NZ news I saw this headline on Stuff:

Race commissioner tells student mags to get responsible
19 May 2006
By MARCUS BROGDEN

It could only go downhill from here, and indeed it did... Commenting on the publication of an image of Chairman Mao (that well known poster boy of democracy) in a student mag - Mr De Bore waded in with this:

Mr De Bres said the problem is when that "sense of humour" crosses the line – "when stereotypes that manifestly by anecdote, research or observation, experience higher levels of discrimination than others."

"The fact is that at the moment in terms of surveys we've done Asian people are amongst those who face the most discrimination in New Zealand," he said.

"Now is not the best time to be exercising your sense of humour."

Mr De Bres there was no greater case of a stereotype being wrong than with the suggestion that Asian students are bad drivers.

"If you go to the police or Road Safety New Zealand you'll find the stereotypes about Asian drivers just do not stack up," he said.

This guy is a tax payer funded mouth piece of tolerance and understanding, his mantra apparently, 'none of your native humour please - we might not get it'.

I shouldn't let it - but this sort of bollocks does wind me up. And claiming that Asians are the most discriminated against may stack up in a targeted poll - but go into any school playground and answer me this question:

Whose job is it to protect the ginga's?'

No wonder they're angry.

Bloody brilliant!

I even got a text from Ma after this one. Fantastic!

'Hurricanes reach Super 14 final

Hurricanes 16 - Waratahs 14

The 2006 crop of Hurricanes secured themselves a place in the franchises' history books and date in the Super 14 rugby final next week after beating the Waratahs 16-14 here tonight.'

The down side is that it will mean a 8.30am start at a dodgy Walkabout to watch the final with Boy. It would be wrong not too.

Not much planned for this weekend - getting ready to move next weekend (assuming that lightening doesn't strike twice) and sleep, a lot.

Mmmmmm, pig

There were 8 people in my part of the office this morning - 12 bacon sandwhiches, nice.

Had a great night out, first round of shots at around 7pm and it went steadily down hill from there... We ended up at a Tapa's bar called 'The Priory' in West Ken which was brilliant, shame we won't be welcome back in a hurry.

It is a rather subdued office this morning. We must do this more often.

Picture shy

One or two probs with the pictures below. So in the meantime dear reader - sit back, go on, sit back, grab a cup of tea, make yourself comfortable - close your eyes and [Well, you might as well stop there, really... - Ed]

Whoever doubted that Smooky would pull through??...

So having been 'somewhat let down' and a touch ansi yesterday - I met Smooky again this morning to look at another place. And it wasn't so flash.

Then he had an after thought and took me to a place right in the middle of Belsize Park. It was cheaper and 'had character'. I could only dread the prospect - but went anyway. Character, it appears, means that you have 2 front doors!?!? One to the bedroom, one to the living room. Well - I did want a seperate bedroom...

Anyways - have paid the deposit and am again quite happy with the way things have worked out. There are a couple of pics below - the first is the lounge - probably the thing that tipped it for me. Nice bright room (bigger than it looks) - and perfect for working from home.

Just a little bit English

The three windows at the top are the lounge, the area to the right, the bedroom/bathroom.




Move in on the 27th May as I had originally planned with the other place - so happy again.

Struggling to move various muscles after the first game of softball last night - but it was great to get back into it with the Hudson types. Dinner with the Jones girl this eve and a work do tomorrow night.

Normal service resumed.

Job not quite done

After laying down a grand or so, just to feel particularly smug, the bastard shizzerhousin buggers have turned around and welched on my flat.

Not happy. Very not happy.

Going to look at a place tomorrow morning that they have on for £240 - and demand that the buggers give it to me for £210.

Stressy at work, getting stressed by still been in the flat, finally got the nudge I needed and the flat fell into my lap. My whole mood lightened.

Got through a potentially nasty meeting today and still felt light on my feet - and then got the call having confirmed the 27th with Buzz as 'the definite date'.

Less than 2 weeks to find me a pad - best step up to the plate Snooky, me not happy. [Yes, you may have mentioned that. - Ed]

Job done

After a few gentle prods from K, I started looking for a pad on Tuesday night. I arranged to see 2 studios near where I am now - they were coming in at a lazy 195 and 205 pounds. Hopes were realistic - but expecting something decent to say the least.

The first one was a room, bed in one corner - kitchen in the other. Laundry in a lock up outside. Oh my good god - just an unlucky start, surely?

Onto pad number 2. As we rattled our way up the dodgy lift I had an uneasy feeling, two steps out of the lift and 2 years of living in a hotel hell came flooding back. As open minded as ever - I decided that we have come this far, I might as well go through the front door. Seperate kitchen and laundry, nice. Good size cupboard - bonus (the fact that this is a bonus may illustrate just how dire things have become....) and then into the lounge. Reasonable size actually - I may have written this place off too early?

Hang on! Somethings missing. Sensing my unease - the agent proceeded to alay my fears - the bedroom wasn't missing - it simply had to be pulled out of the wall. FFS! I could not believe it. And people live in these things?!?!? And pay 205 quid. Incredulous, morose, disconsolate and starting to think about the best way to secure ones possessions when residing on a park bench - I left. As the master of understatement said to the cliche, things were not looking good.

The next night I had lined up a viewing of a dodgy studio in Camden Town - a knifes throw away from the prestigious murder mile. I rang the guy and he told me it had gone - but he had another. I hooked up with Snooky (not an alias - you can't make that up) and he walked me to a place on Haverstock Hill - right in the heart of Belsize Park, Darling. Belsize Park, Darling is one of those places that is always followed by Darling. A very good area indeed! And hence, I was expecting a semi detacthed shoe box conversion.

We arrived - which is essential to the rest of the story really. Had we not - there would be very little to relay.

The place had a seperate kitchen (with a couple of stools and breakfast bar!), a standard bathroom and a good size lounge. Hold the phone! I had been burnt like this before! 'What wall is it Snooky? Come on fella, I wasn't born in 1986.' Rather than pulling a bed from a wall - the Snookster opened a bloody door!!

Never has the sight of a bedroom pleased me more! But is was 230 quid - nigh on 700 of our NZ dollars. Bollocks. Doubt. Would this be a touch reckless, stupid and self indulgent?

Bloody oath it would - so I knocked him down to 210 and signed it up! Move in on the 27th May and am more than a touch excited. And relieved that I can now host anyone that chooses to come on over!

Off to watch FA Cup final with Boy - more tomoza.

Sometimes some of us just need a 'little push'

I have been thinking about getting out into a place of my own for a while now - particularly in light of all the people that are due to come visiting from NZ! The problem with me is that that is the sum total of the progress on the 'get your own pad' project - thinking about it.

This is not uncommon for me though, I first started thinking about coming to London after varsity (circa 1998), arrival date April 2005....

One of the reason for dallying so much on the moving out front has been avoiding 'that conversation' with Buzz. I know, rationally, that there is no reasoning for this. Ours is a commercial relationship, an arrangement more than a relationship really. People come and go, that is the way these things work. Which is why I took it particularly well when she told me that was going!

Yup - Buzz has a friend what needs helping out and wants to do her a favour by offering her the room. I also think she is keen on a flatmate she might see occasionally - rather than a shiny egg shell type of image behind a laptop screen - but she was decent enough not to say as much. Bless.

So to things practical - I must find lodgings, not that airy 'I must remember to buy a lotto ticket this week' kind of must either. Homeless in London town is not what I had in mind when I started planning back in '98.

A couple to look at tonight - I'll be interested to see what NZD 30,000 per annum gets you. Ouch!

Ahhh, London….

3.30am, peaceful London night – the air is crisp and still, the trees unmoved. The birds are waking just hours away from performing the early morning chorus. Frit and Buzz lie asleep (in isolation!) dreaming of [don’t ruin it – Ed] sunny summer days spent idling away hours on the heath as children all around discover new ways to hurt themselves and each other. And then a basketball sized terracotta pot comes flying through the window in the lounge followed by some thieving little gobshite with an eye for iMac laptops.

Yup – got burgled last night, it was unbelievable. The little punks had obviously cased the joint during the day and new exactly what they wanted and where it would be. Launched something through the window, kicked out some more glass and where in and out in around 30 seconds. By the time I was out of bed and out of the bedroom door – they were heading down the road.

All a bit scary really – but it is pretty obvious that these were just chancers, not hardened types looking to rummage through the place. But I am still quite rarked up that some little prick has decided to help themselves, not to mention the bloody mess! There must be more professional ways of breaking a window than lobbing a ruddy great terracotta pot, top soil included, through it!?!?!

I can’t believe they only took Buzz’s laptop as well (fully vindicating my policy of sleeping with mine – incidentally) – there was an iPod sitting right next to it that they didn’t touch. Amateurs! The Police were round in a flash and were very nice, if not a tad ho-hum about it all, understandable when it happens a few times a night I suppose.

Given there experience in such matters however – I did have to laugh when the female PC sat down to write up her incident report – looked at what was left of the window and said (with a perfectly straight face) ‘and is this the point of entry?’

‘Well possibly’ I replied as her colleague advised us that it would be a good idea to have the window replaced. You can’t teach that sort of practicality!

All a bit of drama really – and kind of overshadows the other bit of news re the flat situation. That can wait ‘til tomorrow.

Any publicity is good publicity? Bollocks!

And no starker example of this could be found than this article in 'The Sun':

Two Shags has two inches

TWO Shags John Prescott has a manhood the size of a COCKTAIL SAUSAGE, says ex-lover Tracey Temple.

The lardy Deputy Prime Minister might have the body of a saveloy but in the department where it matters he is a chipolata, she recorded in her diaries.

Tracey, 43, revealed at the weekend that Prescott, 67, gave a four-times-a-night performance.

But it seems that things weren’t always up to scratch — and he once had to resort to the love drug Viagra after “an unsuccessful attempt at sex”.

They even provided a wee pic just in case things weren't quite clear - bless.

And ikk!

Fantastic!

This is an excerpt from an article in Metro about 'the 20th 9/11 bomber'. It quotes the judgement under the headline '9/11 plotter 'will die with a whimper''.

Judge Brinkema refused to let the so-called '20th hi-jacker' interrupt her as she disputed his claim that the life sentences meant the US government had lost and he had won. She said: 'When this proceeding is over, everyone else will leave the room to see the sun, hear the birds and associate with whomever they want.

'You will spend the rest of your life in a supermax prison. It's absolutely clear who won.

'You came here to be a martyr in a great big bang of glory but, to paraphrase the poet TS Eliot, instead you will die with a whimper.'

Although the death penalty was a very real option, and more than a little tempting in the circumstances, I think this is absolutely bang on. Screw him - I would be happy to contribute to the cost of his detention rather than see him 'win'.

Sometimes subtle just don't work

So I have adopted a new creed at work:

Shall then I put down the needle of insinuation and pick up the club of statement?

Discovered it recently - I think it works.

Catch up

Apologies for being remise of late – busy busy and all that other boring stuff. But truth be known, things at work are heating up a touch. A step closer to a new owner, a new name (that mercifully does not feature the word ‘hot’ or ‘.com’) and all the fun and games that goes with a management buy out.

In truth, plenty of games – but a little light on the fun at this stage – but the lights are shining brightly on the horizon.

Just finished another payroll project – I swear to god the days of a cheque glad handed on a Thursday arvo must have been simpler! Never mind – job done.

A few long weekends lately have been squandered as a result – but that’s OK, it is only just turning summer and August is pencilled in (in permanent marker) as indulgence month.

About to hit the phone and catch up with folk back home, those who have been oft thought of – but seldom contacted!

It all sounds a bit woe is me melancholy melodramatics – but it isn’t at all! It is the way I have always reacted to being under a bit of pressure. Namely, caveman syndrome. Which I don’t mind – but know isn’t good.

Oprah save me, I am one short paragraph away from self indulgent pop psychology – so best I stop here. But a note to say all is well.

The highlight of the last couple of weeks has been reading Stephen Fry’s auto-biography which I have been tempted to quote at length – purely for its everyday brilliance. Somehow – plagiaristic guilt has prevented me thus far – but won’t for long I’m sure! The honesty of his writing has inspired me to attempt to write something of interest, insight and honesty on this page. I just have find the ability and get over the shyness first ;-)