Sad

When I check the papers from back home these days, I fear the morning that I check in and see the obituaries for David Lange coming in.

I suppose it is not unusual to 'feel things' when someone well known is unwell or dies. I remember when Eve van Grafhorst died - that had me in tears (granted - Holmes did his damndest to make sure).

I am sure Lady Di was a fabulous individual and all the other things that have been said about her, but to me she was a distant Princess caught up in a tragedy - I didn't make much of it to be honest.

But if it is David Lange's time comes while I am here, I will regret not been there to here the tributes. In terms of NZ political quotes, Muldoon's line about kiwi's heading to Australia raising the IQ of both countries is trumped only by Lange's "I can smell the uranium on your breath" quip during that Oxford address.

The mans class transcends politics.

A British 'contributor'

The other good news of the day was that today I became a 'real Brit' - I got paid! Tony Blair can now class me as an asset. The bugger pockets over a grand sterling a month from me...

A cursory glance at what that leaves for the royal bank of Frit is encouraging though. Over the weekend I will try to put together a relative price index between here and home - based on basic items against my post tax income.

I know that rent will be more here, but other than that I have a sneaking suspicion that London will work out as being cheaper, relative to my earnings here. In the name of fairness, the table will not be weighted - as vino is cheap as chinese here, and the dodgy cat dealer around the corner will service me with 'special' (I don't ask questions) fried rice for 2 pounds!

Those two items combined could distort things wildly!

High enough in the food chain to influence grazing time!

Happy to report that today was one very rewarding day in my working life! Having been thrown into what seemed like the bottomless end, today, a breakthrough of sorts.

My first decision of real import was to inform the MD and Finance Director that one of the timeframes that they had dictated for a major roll out (prior to my arrival) was for to aggressive (read - so risky it was borderline madness). The difference this time, compared to my time at Hudson, was that they heard my case, challenged it, and then accepted my recommendation.

After years of just having to make things happen and fire fight - this time I was in a position to influence the direction of things up front. I was a touch apprehensive thinking that it may be interpreted as me effectively missing my first deadline - but it wasn't - and god it felt good.

The Thursday after the Thursday that was two weeks after the first Thursday

And there are Police everywhere - and I mean everywhere. I counted no less than 12 at my work station, West Kensington, which is quite small - god knows wat it was like at the major stations.

But it is just another day really. The ongoing bastard of the situation for me is that with the Picadilly line partially suspended - it is taking me over an hour to get to work - off peak!

Apparently that is not too bad for London - it is just frustrating that I am paying a shite load in rent to be close to town - I'm just at the wrong end!

Bless Xtra News

Well I couldn't resist - a quick msn conversation with MJD and the news that the Election date has been set - game on. So I am sat here catching up on NZ news and watching Helzilla looking quite uncomfortable in various interviews. Paul Henry in particular seemed hell bent on been balanced - despite being (indirectly) on the Govt payroll.

It takes a true politico geek to admit that I almost wish that I was home. Having dinner with Mum, Mike, Peter Malc and Dunc to be exact. Lively, rousing with the potential to become troublesome!

Without reverting back to My Right type - all I will say is that it is nice to have a genuine contest to watch from a far! And it is only fair to warn that there will be comment (generously funded by the vast right wing conspiracy) here...

And todays question

Before I came to London, all those that had been here and come back talked about how dirty and smelly it was - I am pleased to report they were well wrong. Things must have changed, from what I've seen, litter doesn't hit the ground before a man in a coat has a broom at the ready.

But can someone answer me this question - why can I not keep my finger nails clean?

Moving

I spent the day at work today moving into our new offices. It is a little corporate compound in the middle of suburbia. It feels a bit weird when you are walking to the place - but the offices are very plush!

I'll take a few pics with my new toy (phone with video conferencing, mp3 player, video recorder, 2 meg camera with flash - OK, I'll shut up) tomorrow. Whilst that reference to the new toy provided the platform for an easy segue into a 'pick up the phone ya bastards' diatribe - I'll resist the temptation on this occassion.

Phil - I hope you had a good last day in Hudson land!

PS - Call me!

Now things are starting to feel weird

No doubt news of the second wave of bombing attempts has hit home. After the stoic reaction to the July 7 bombings, in which the defiance almost had a swagger to it - Londoners are a much more subdued lot now.

Tony Blair has gone from 'you will never acheive your goals of terror and disruption', to, 'please everyone remain calm and go about your business' in the space of a fortnight. I was with Kathryn last night and she point blank did not want to get the tube home - not my reaction but it still seemed like a perfectly reasonable stand to take.

Of all the doubts, fears and anger that the bombings have generated - todays events have stirred something in me similarly. This from a BBC report after a man was shot dead at a tube station this morning:

Mr Whitby, told BBC News: "I was sitting on the train reading my paper.

"I heard a load of noise, people saying, 'Get out, get down!'

"I saw an Asian guy run onto the train hotly pursued by three plain-clothes police officers.

'Bomb belt'

"One of them was carrying a black handgun - it looked like an automatic - they pushed him to the floor, bundled on top of him and unloaded five shots into him.

"I saw the gun being fired five times into the guy - he is dead," he said.

BBC Home affairs correspondent Margaret Gilmore said officers had challenged a known suspect they had been following.

"He ran, they followed him. They say they gave him a warning, they then shot him.

"They brought in the air ambulance. They did everything they can to revive him. He died at the scene."

Police had warned they would shoot to kill if they believed somebody to be a threat, she added.

So now we have gone from being in a country that is susceptible to terrorist attacks, to being in a country that is susceptible to terrorist attacks with a police force with nervous twitches and shoot to kill orders.

It just doesn't feel quite right at the moment. I don't feel directly threatened or in danger, more constrained in this place, jumpy when sirens start up near by and a little discombobulated. I say discombobulated because when a chance to uses a word like discombobulated presents itself, you don't turn it down.

UPDATE - This was written, but no posted yesterday.

Train Spotter?

My boss lined up at midnight to be one of the first to buy the latest Harry Potter book, don't know how I feel about that.

This was new

I have learned to expect and accept pretty much anything on the tube. On the way home tonight I parked up and started the eyes down reading routine, and at the next stop a chap sat down next to me. Nothing unusual there.

I glanced sideways to notice that this chap was a touch rough, he proceeded to pull out a little tin. 'Oh god, he's going to start chewing tobacco' I thought to myself. But no, this chap had a slightly different 'technique'.

I have seen people put various substances into their bodies using a wide range of techniques - but never have I seen loose tobacco directly up the nostril! It was disgusting, and the sniffing that followed was something else again.

That being my biggest 'issue' of the day - it is safe to say that all is well.

Asset or vice?

It is interesting when you find yourself compelled to ruminate over your own strengths and weaknesses. Having worked under some average project managers in the past - I had the rather disconcerting experience of asking myself today, 'am I that guy?'. Hence the following 'internal conversation and self diagnosis (if you think I am letting a 'head type professional' near this 'subject' - think again).

I think I have good attention to detail - outcome - fixation over every little detail (my responsibility or otherwise).

My perception and ability to visualise the potential impacts of decisions isn't bad - hence immediately questioning any proposal put forward. Then fixating on all possible ramafications.

I like to organise and be organised - outcome - planning what needs to be done and realising I was running out of time to actually do what has just been organised. Time to re-jig the original plan....

I like to assume responsibility (invited or not!) - outcome - an unconcious martyr mentality. When undertaking a critical self assessment - martyr and primma donna become disconcertingly blurred.

Confidence has never fooled me. Many people perceived me to be 'out there', confident, even arrogant [ouch, but fair - Ed]. If you know me well enough to be reading this, you know that my biggest fear is that others will detect what I already know about me (the doubts, the fears, the entirely normal stuff) - but I manage to hide those things adequately, more often than not.

The proceeding ramble is the result of a rather full on couple of days at work. Don't think for a moment that I am not enjoying it - it is a fantastic opportunity, the people are great and I am sure all will work out well.

But I figure if you lot are going to venture this little spec of the world wide inter web - then occassionally I should feed up some un(self)edited stream of conciousness bollocks, read it the next day, and wonder what the hell I was thinking. Because chances are, tomorrow will bring a completely different state of mind.

Whether I tell you about it or not - who knows?

The next little adventure

Will be to Ireland to see Brother Chilcott before he heads home.I'll hopefully head up Friday week and come back on the Sunday. A cursory glance at flight details has been very encouraging - there and back for 30 odd quid.

I'm yet to meet an Irishman that hasn't made me laugh - so should be good!

True to form

Somethings never change, and so it was with implacable diligece that I neglected to acknowledge MJD's birthday. Sorry mate...

But just to show that one can learn from mistakes - HAPPY BIRTHDAY Nick!!

Coming home...

Chill your jets all you naysaying types that thought I would never last over here - I shall be 'visiting' New Zealand in December me thinks.

Mum is still doing really well, but has decided (wisely!) that it would be a little to soon to head to the other side of the planet to holiday and visit the youngest. So, although it is a bit sad not getting the opportunity to host my dear Ma, I know its the right decision.

The upshot is that I am fairly sure that I will now come home for Christmas (and the trifling matter of a, ahem, 30th). Should be back for 2 or 3 weeks and can't wait to see everyone. After a couple of weeks at work I already get the feeling that Christmas will be here before I know it.

Nowhere near enough done here so far, so I'll be back. That is the story of 90 percent of the Kiwi's I have meet over here - came for a year, forgot to set the alarm.

Put to the test

Having given the English a bit of a wrap in the last post, it looks like my theory will be put to the test today. At midday there will be 2 minutes slince through-out the city. Buses will stop and everyone is being encouraged to leave there buildings and stand in the street as a mark of defiance.

Should be solemn - but curiously impressive at the same time.

UPDATE - 8pm

Every car stopped, the streets were packed and it was silent. I'm sure it will look impressive on the news back home, but it was something else being part of it. Quality.

Respect

One thing that I have always felt the English do well is respect - be it for their traditions, their culture, but particularly when it comes to 'their own'. (In terms of general respect for others, it is a mixed bag - people will stand for their elders on a bus, and then promptly push you out of their way on the way to the tube.)

I remember making that observation a few times back home watching English football crowds observe a minutes silence immaculately. The fact that they might proceed to bait and beat lumps out of each other for the following couple of hours only makes their earlier display of dignity all the more remarkable.

I had a first hand demonstation of London playing the strong, silent type this morning.

I am in Paul Street today, so I went down to the Northern Line. This was the first time I had been through Kings Cross Station since Thursday. The announcement came that the train would not stop at that station, but it pretty much came to a stop without the doors opening.

Silence, no shuffling of feet, no jockeying for position, peoples eyes drifted from their papers to just look down. It wasn't a sinister sort of silence - just reflective. I have found some of the hammy 'we shall not surrender' statements a bit stylised over the past few days.

But on the ground and on the tube there is a real pragmatism about things, but no danger of those that suffered being forgotten.

'That day'

I'm sure the mainstream media have covered the recent events in London fairly comprehensively back home - so no need to reproduce the details here - but it would be somewhat remiss not to relay some of my feelings of the day.

As it happpens I was in one of our offices in Staines for the day (way down South (West??) I think). So I was well clear of the incident itself. Had I have been working in my main office - I would have been on one of the lines that was hit about an hour before the bombs went off. It is easy to be melodramatic about these things - but the tubes and buses are such an integral part of life over here that a good couple of million people are quite legitimately reflecting on the fact that it could so easily have been them.

I found out about the bombing when MJD called. I am used to random phone calls from the bro - but a 'just ringing to check that you were alive' call was kind of strange. From there it was on to the Beeb website to see what the hell was happening. First emotion, when will it stop? Then - shit, who do I know in the area? How many bombs are there? Eventually you come round to the rather self-indulgent, 'what if it had been me?' line of thinking.

Emails and texts started flying out, and thankfully, all were responded to.

One of the strangest things is how quickly things seem back to normal. All services, bar one or two stations, were back up and running within half a day. I did think twice about using public transport that day - but what option?? After a look around Staines on Thursday - I was either going on public transport or walking (I don't walk).

There were Police everywhere, laconic security announcements galore, but everywhere there was a material calm. To the point where there wasn't even a heightened level of 'titter' on the train, I don't know if people didn't know much at that point - or whether it was a numb kind of reaction, but everything was very quiet.

I went to The Albert and hooked up with a few Kiwi's and friends after work, sitting at home and watching the coverage on the Beeb would have been too depressing. It was then that I felt a bit of impact from the days event - hard to describe really - but it almost felt like a chemical reaction, some senses and feelings heightened - others dulled. All the Kiwi's were feeling a long way from home and it did make me feel a bit homesick for the first time since I have been here.

2 days, and another Lions Test, later things are (somewhat strangely) back to normal. House sitting at Mark and Kathryn's for a week or so and enjoying some zen time.

The promised wind up didn't (couldn't) happen

Not for a lack of trying on my part - but due to London types extrodinary internal body clocks. They quite literally get onto a tube and tell the brain to cut out for a specified number of stops.

I was sat next to two people, both sat down and appeared unconcious within minutes. Tube starts, tube stops, doors open - and the reaction from these two laggards, nothing. Nada, zip, the big doughnut.

Then miraculously, at a station previously programmed or embedded, their eyes open in perfect sync with the doors and they head on out. Weird.

Text from Mum

I got a text this morning;

'Hi love, I'm at the rugby - a bit different to three weeks ago, Go Blues! Love Mum.'

Bloody brilliant, who gives a toss about the score after a message like that!!

A conundrum of sorts

Conscientious, whilst laudable, is not interesting. Isn't now - never has been.

So although things are going swimmingly at work, I fear kiwilog is in real danger of becoming about as exciting as an enlightening One News special investigation into the issues facing people with no arms, no legs and no heads (unattended torso's, if you will).

Example, today was another day with our main vendors. Things actually felt normal, in fact, I was rather chippy for someone that had been on the case for less than 2 days! Some would call it arrogance - a statement of intent I prefer to think of it as...

Tomorrow I am going to meet the outsourced Helpdesk providers to establish some new SLA's that, unbelievably, don't seem to exist. I have over 50 unread emails from today which all adds up to an almost prosaic feeling of parallelism to life back at Hudson. Unfortunately, it has the added effect of forming the basis of some of the dullest words ever to be considered fit for publishing....

Fear not - this site isn't going to turn into a Issues Log of my drama's at work... I have realised that I am simply going to have to wind up a few people on my daily commute, or get lippy in the pub to provide some more material for mildly interesting updates.

Posts in future could well read along the lines of, 'I was on the way to work - asked the person on the train next to me about The Lions, went down swinging at the 6th stop - lost by TKO. Goal for tomorrow, haggle with the chap selling The Big Issue..'

My head hurts

My first full day of work was spent onsite with our vendors reviewing the next release of our primary database (a product that I had never seen!), and negotiating possible terms to move another 2 of our acquisitions onto the database in question. It was bloody hard work - it seemed and age that I had spent that long around a table that didn't have a Stella, an ash tray and a menu on it. But the subject matter was very familiar and I felt quite at home.

Absolutely knackered at the time of writing, and going back for another full day tomorrow. Nothing like getting straight into it! But in short, the people are nice, the role will be a challenge and the coin is good - so very happy.

Day one

Day one came and went very quickly. It started at the pub, I felt comfortable! I met the team and managed to make one or two 'connections'.

I have two days meeting our main vendors to start the week, so no soft landing by the looks, straight into it, which feels right. It's hard switching on again after a couple of months off, but the content and issues are eerily fimiliar.

The people I have encountered thus far have all been nice - I even had my boss texting me in the first few minutes of the Lions test winding me up (revenge was sweet - thanks boys), so being the new boy shouldn't be too uncomfortable.

It is nice to be sitting here on a Sunday afternoon, knowing what the next week has in store. I have definitely missed having that structure.

So all in all, things are well - and it continues the theme of things falling into place. The stars are in alignment, and I am happily following them. I expect that this week will have its share of 'moments' - and I'm looking forward to them.